yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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