So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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