So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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