If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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