I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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