peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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