I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
