no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
