Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
