Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
