My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
