I hate your face
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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