mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
