I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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