you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I want to make a zoo with you.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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