I'm going to jail i love you
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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