Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
