Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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