You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
