How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
