is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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