They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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