So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
