Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
