The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
