So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
