This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just found puke in my bra..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
