Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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