We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You are a genius and a whore.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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