Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
