Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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