i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
my poor anus
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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