but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
