I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
