i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
