weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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