Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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