creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
