i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
