I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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