I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
