I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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