Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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