didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
