I cut my penus on the lid.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
