TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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