One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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