Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
