my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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