i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
