So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize