see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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