He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
