nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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