Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
