Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
