I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
