Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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