I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
