apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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