at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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