I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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