I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he puts the penis in happiness.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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